Singles & Marriage
Getting married – Are you ready?
Supposition
Most people who get married believe they are marrying the right person, for the right reasons and that their marriage relationship will last forever.
Reality
Approximately 53% of all marriages in Australia are ending in the divorce courts (ABS – 2001). So obviously more than 50% of couples are:
- marrying the wrong person and/or
- marrying for the wrong reasons and/or
- getting married without having any real understanding of what happens on the other side of the wedding ceremony
Reality Checklist
- Make sure you do your “homework” properly before getting married (If you want to take it one step further, get a “teacher” to go through your “homework” with you to make sure you have done everything correctly “Teacher” – someone who is qualified to advise you on the complexities of marriage and marriage preparation and someone who cares enough about you to give unbiased & honest feedback
- Find out which phase of love you are in. Make sure you are not still in phase 1 (see Hints & Tips 6)
- Establish what your reasons are for wanting to be married.
- How many are the wrong reasons?
- How many are the right reasons?
- How many marriage myths do you believe in?
Please contact us for more comprehensive details on being prepared for marriage.
Some RIGHT and WRONG reasons to get MARRIED
1. DON’T GET MARRIED FOR THE WRONG REASONS
Some wrong reasons:
- You are desperate to have children
- To get even with an old boyfriend/girlfriend
- To get out of home
- To further a career
- To obtain a father/mother for your children
- For money
- For power
- For prestige
- For readily available sex
- So you won’t be single any more
- To end loneliness
- To heal your emotional wounds
- To mend the “broken” areas of your life
On the surface some or all of these reasons appear to be acceptable reasons for getting married. However when you look more closely, these reasons are put forward as solutions to a personal problem.
Marriage should never be used as a remedy or ultimate fix-it for personal problems
2. GET MARRIED FOR THE RIGHT REASONS
Some right reasons:
- You want to be married
- You believe you have found your soul-mate
- You have become your soul-mate’s best friend and vice-versa
- You want to make a lifetime commitment to caring for your best friend
- You are in the right Love Phase (see Hints & Tips 6)
- You have enough of the right knowledge to build a successful marriage relationship
- You have had adequate time and preparation to achieve the above
- You must always question yourself during the process of preparation
One question to ask yourself is NOT- “Can I live with this person ?” But – “Can I live without this person?”